Brothers
by BlackRoseWolf103
Summary: (Daryl Point of View)-Following the morning after the run in with the claimers, Rick tells Daryl just how important he is to him and the group.


Author's Note:

Back with another fan fiction. This one is on The Walking Dead. Specific lines of dialogue are taken directly from TWD Season 4, episode 16 A. As always, enjoy!

(Daryl POV)

I had woken up early the next morning, still exhausted after the events of last night but it wasn't like I could just take a day off from taking care of the group. I went out hunting just as the sun had started to rise above the horizon. Dawn was usually a good time to go hunting and I was praying that I would find something so the group didn't starve.

Not long after I had entered the woods, I found a fresh set of tracks, belonging to a squirrel or something similar in size. I followed the prints, loading my crossbow so when I caught up to it, I would be ready. A movement in the trees distracted me, but I was just focused enough to see the squirrel scrambling up a tree. In a pitiful effort I attempted to fire a bolt at it, not even a little bit surprised it missed and struck the tree.

I cursed under my breath, heading over to the tree and ripping the bolt out, frustrated. I glanced around hearing growling and more rustling of leaves. A pair of walkers emerged from the cover of the leaves, their skin peeling away so under a mass of rotten flesh, I could see a glimmer of yellow gray that I assumed was their bones. One was once a woman, wearing a tattered, dirt covered dress. The other resembled that of an old man, especially with the way that it was hunched over. It's knee was bent at an awkward angle, the flesh hanging in chunks off its deteriorating bones.

I loaded the bolt and fired at the closer of the two. It struck it right in the center of its forehead, sending it falling backwards, into the trees. I loaded it again and struck the other one in its temple. It hovered for a second and fell limply to the ground. I made my way over to the two dead corpses and ripped the bolts out. I loaded the bow with one and stuck the other one back into its quiver.

After a few hours of falling short of any more tracks, I found a creek. I decided to fill an empty water bottle I found. At least the others could wash off a little bit before we started moving again. I didn't want to head back empty handed.

By now, the sun was well up. I started back to the small group, knowing well that they would be disappointed I hadn't been able to find anything. It was rare that I happened to run into anything after we had left Atlanta. If I did happen to it was a happy accident. I was never usually actively looking for food.

I returned, unable to find any of them at first. As I looked around I found Rick on the side of the truck. His face was covered in thick red blood, tangled into his beard. He had his back to the truck, his arms resting on his knees, his fingers shaking. He stared straight ahead of him, not moving his eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd have guessed he was a walker.

As I emerged from the woods, he looked up in acknowledgement. I made my way over to him, and set my bow on the ground, leaning against the truck. I then untied my handkerchief from my belt loop, and removed the cap from the water bottle. I gently poured the water on it, so that it was damp.

"We should save it to drink" he told me, as I was handing it to him.

I wasn't about to point out that it was river water and we couldn't drink it anyways. "You can't see yourself. I can."

He took it, soundlessly. I hovered above him for a second, unsure how the three of them felt about me after they had found me with the other group. I bit my lip and sat down next to him, hoping that they'd forgive me if I explained myself.

I remained silent for a second. "I didn't know what they were" I started.

"How'd you wind up with them?" He asked.

"I was with Beth" I started to explain. "We got out together" I could hear the scratchiness in my own voice and hoped that Rick didn't. I wasn't about to burst into tears or anything, but he'd be able to tell I was plenty upset. "I was with 'er for awhile..." I trailed off. I glanced at the ground, feeling the pain well up in my chest.

"She dead?" Rick asked slowly.

I looked back up at him. I don't know! I don't know where the hell she is! I wanted to yell back at him. Instead I took a deep breath. "She's just gone" I muttered quietly, almost too quietly. He'd suspect something. He'd blame me for something else, losing Beth.

I tried to get her back. The second I had seen her stuff strewn across the road and heard the screech of tires on pavement, I had started running. I was going to catch that car. As I ran, I knew it was futile, that white cross was just growing fainter and fainter in the pitch black night. My throat and legs felt like they had been on fire, but I kept on. Even if I lost the car, I was a tracker, I would find her, I had to... I had to...

Long after the car had faded from view, long after the sun had risen, I had collapsed from exhaustion. I had probably been running the entire night, certain that if I stopped to rest for even a second, I'd never see her again.

Then the group had snuck up on me, demanded my shit. I had been in no condition to take them on, but I had been prepared to. I reacted instantly, aiming my bow at the leader's face and knocking him on his ass. It saved me. He had instead let me join the group, not really giving me much of a choice.

"After that, that's when they found me. I mean I knew they were bad, but they had a code" I remembered the first time I had found out about the so-called code. I had been hunting and had shot a rabbit. Another of the guys had fought with me, said that it was his. The leader intervened and explained the rules, not until after splitting the rabbit in half. I had to 'claim' everything. It was the stupidest thing I had ever heard and I wasn't about to stoop down to their level. It had earned me a bed on the cold hard cement, but I didn't care. It wasn't quite the coffin I had slept in two nights prior, but it was fine.

"It was simple" I continued "stupid" I paused. "But it was somethin'. It was enough..." I trailed off. It wasn't enough. I was lying to myself. Nothing was ever going to be enough to fill the hole that Beth had left. She had disappeared just as suddenly as she had forced her way into my life. She had always been there after the prison, whether I wanted her there or not, and suddenly she wasn't. Just a mistake as simple as not checking the door to see that it was fucking walkers, not the dog from earlier, was enough to take her from me.

"Hey" Rick started "you were alone." I glanced up again. Did he really understand? He couldn't possibly. I had never needed anyone before and I sure as hell didn't need that group. I had planned on leaving them soon anyways. After seeing the blood splatters on the cement, learning they had beat the guy who tried to frame me, literally to death, all I wanted to do was leave as soon as possible.

"Said they were lookin' for some guy" I avoided his eyes. "Last night they said they spotted 'im. I was hangin' back. I was gonna leave." I took a deep breath. "But I didn't." I paused. If I had things would've been different. For one thing my entire face wouldn't be throbbing so bad. For another, Michonne could've been dead. Carl could've been dead. Rick could've been dead. I don't think I'd have ever forgiven myself if I had caused any of their deaths.

"That's when I saw it was you three." I met his eyes for the first time the entire morning. "Right when you saw me." I looked back at the ground. "I didn't know what they could do..." I let my head fall, my hair hanging in my face. I was ashamed that my group had found me with them.

"It's not on you Daryl" Rick reassured. I ignored him, continuing to stare at the dirt road. "Hey" I reluctantly looked up. I met his eyes again and saw more sincerity than I probably had experienced in my entire life. He forgave me. No, he didn't blame me. "It's not on you" he repeated.

I found myself nodding, although I didn't agree with what he was saying. "You being back with us here, now" he continued. "That's everything" he paused again, a long silence following. I looked down again. "You're my brother."

I met his eyes again, trying not to show my surprise. Sure I was pretty much the second in command in the group by now, but I would barely call myself his friend, and brother? Had I heard him right? It seemed very unlikely. The only person to call me that was Merle, probably since he actually was my brother.

Did Rick even know what that had meant? As far as I knew, he didn't have any siblings. He basically had told me he'd die for me. Didn't he remember how I had attacked him the first time I had met him? I had had so much anger coursing through my veins the second I had heard that he had left my brother to die, whether it be from thirst, hunger, or getting devoured by walkers. I had been reckless, driven purely by burning revenge.

My mind raced but I saw Rick watching me. I had been silent for too long. I had to think of something to say. "Wha'cha did last night" I started "anybody would have done that" I didn't realize how untrue the statement was until the words left my tongue. I was basically saying, anyone would rip someone's throat out with their teeth to save their group, or rather their family.

He unsurprisingly shook his head "no not that." Now it was him, whose fingers were twitching uncomfortably.

I bit my lip. "Somethin' happened" I started. "That ain't you."

He shook his head again. "Daryl you saw what I did to Tyreese" I did indeed see and I remembered. "It ain't all good, but that's me" I understood only a little too well. The majority of us had done things we weren't proud of, just to stay alive. "That's why I'm here now" he continued. "That's why Carl is. I want to keep him safe. That's all that matters."

I found myself nodding again. He'd give the world to protect his son, and probably his daughter too. Realization shot through me. Judith was probably dead. She died back at the prison, Beth had been looking for her.

Rick stood up as both Carl and Michonne exited the truck. "We should get going" she told him. She looked tired. They must've been on the road since the prison. They didn't have the luxury of staying at that funeral home for a couple of nights like Beth and I had. I had actually planned on staying longer.

Another shot of guilt. I was going to abaundon the rest of my group just to keep Beth safe. I knew we should've been looking for them, but I had been selfish. And now with sick irony I had failed to even do that. The only thing I had managed to do was get into more trouble.

Rick nodded and soon we were walking along the train tracks. Rick in the lead, closely followed by Michonne. Carl took the rear and I was in the middle. I longed more than anything to fall back behind the group, leave me alone with my thoughts, but it seemed Carl was trying to put as much distance between his father and him as possible. I guess I could understand. Last night he had witnessed him rip out the throat of another man.

I thought about the conversation we had just had. Rick had called me his brother, for what? I had never been a brother to him, or any of them. I had always been an outsider, only assisting when I felt I needed to, like the search for Sophia. It would've been against my entire being to just abandon a search for little girl lost in the walker filled woods. I was shocked and almost angry when Rick had suggested I didn't have to continue looking, and that I didn't owe them anything. I now realized that wasn't true. I owed so much more than I could give.

It was through them that I finally began to become myself again. It was due to Merle's disappearance that I had even decided to travel with them in the first place, as ironic as it was. Without him telling me what to do, I started doing what I thought was right and stopped getting myself into situations that would more than likely get me killed. Merle had called me weak for following their orders. He was wrong. I had been weak when I had followed him around like a lost puppy. I had never questioned anything he had told me to do, whether it felt right or wrong, and most of the time it had been wrong.

With Rick and the others, it was different. I did things for the good of my group, not myself. I actually started to care about whether they lived or died. I had grown close to Rick, Carol, and Beth. When Merle had been thrown back into the picture, it had been harder. I had almost been reckless in searching for him once I found out he was in Woodbury. Almost... Because of my group, I had not gone looking for him.

I had been weak once again when I had abandoned my group, no my family to stay with Merle, adopt the life I had lived before once again. Follow him to the end of the earth, going where he wanted, doing what he wanted, but as a result of almost two years with them, I had changed. I had decided to help that family trapped on the bridge full of walkers, even when Merle told me not to. I had risked my life for strangers, because it was right? Not only that I had decided to stand up to my jackass brother. I had gone back to my group, whether he followed or not.

His death had affected me more than I'm willing to admit. I had never been one to cry in front of others, to me it seemed weak, that's what Merle had always said. He never wanted me to be weak, wanted me to be strong, like him. But I had cried. I remembered almost like it was yesterday, stabbing the walker who had somehow looked like Merle. It even had the metal stump of a hand. But it hadn't been him. It hadn't. It wasn't possible for him to die, at least I had let myself believe that.

It was laying on the blood soaked ground, sobbing, that I had convinced myself, that walker was my brother, the only person I had ever cared about, and the only one to care about me. He was gone.

Rick would never replace the hole that his death had left me with, but he sure as hell was trying. Was that why he had called me that? He knew how Merle and I had been so close, maybe because we knew what we were each going through, maybe because we had to be, or maybe it was because we actually cared about each other.

"You alright?"

I hadn't noticed how Rick had drifted back from the head of the group and that he was now walking next to me. He had actual concern in his eyes.

I didn't answer, just asked another question, something I need to know. "Wha'cha said before" I started. "Ya mean it?"

He met my eyes again, remaining silent for a long time. "Of course"

I looked away from him, feeling the corner of my lip twist up into a small smile. He couldn't replace Merle but it wasn't too crazy of an idea for him to care about me the same way. Maybe I had been wrong, maybe he had cared when no one else had.

"Daryl?..." He started. "Are you okay?" I felt his hand touch my shoulder. Normally I'd flinch away if someone were to try to touch me like that, but things were different now. The past was in the past, including my horrible childhood. These people would fight for me, and beside me until the day I died. I knew that now.

I turned back to him, meeting his eyes again, and said one word, this time meaning it. "Fine"

He nodded and walked back up to Michonne. My eyes followed him the entire time. The second his back was turned, the smile fought its way back to my face. "...brother"


End file.
